Thursday, January 13, 2005

Luseletter- Reflections of a software industry(Jan 1)

Recently a friend forwarded a mail to me which was ermmm... quite intresting. I am reproducing the letter below....

Hi Pooper,
Cheers!!. It is fantastic. Congrats to your Brat Pack team. Very good innovative idea. Hope the trend continues. HEDGE is going to be Livewire for EDGE. Congarts to Amit for motivatingt the team, dead to ferocious snakes.

Feed back will be given soon.....

With regards

This was the forward but it set me thinking. I continue to remain amazed---perplexed would be a better word---at the way some people choose to express themselves. Reminds me of an old article in the Sunday times which went, ni chandrababu naidu garu ochindhi. Me chesku neku worship karthaundi. That was in Telugu.

I know none of you understand Telugu but bear with me; there are a few things here I fail to understand.

For one: why is Amit dead to ferocious snakes? Or is it, “death to ferocious snakes”? In which case why are mild snakes exempt, and what about a mild snake that has been roused from quiet slumber by ponderous footsteps?

Or is Amit dead to only ferocious snakes but alive to rather mild ones? Quite a slur on his character I think. I am not too happy about inviting this guy over to dinner, when at the first sign of danger he is going to slink off in private and go hide behind the couch and get it rather wet.

Or is it Amit dead, to ferocious snakes. My imagination boggles when I think about amit, cadaverous though he looks, morphing from a quiet dead body to a ferocious snake firing toothy fangs to all corners. In which case, wouldn’t it make the title of a rather nice documentary? Ouch! I have been bit (Amit: From his death to his metamorphosing as a rather ferocious snake)

Actually reading the letter again, I find I have got it wrong. Here are the actual words:
Congarts to Amit for motivatingt the team, dead to ferocious snakes.

This is even more confusing. Is he congratulating Amit for motivating the team from a state of death, to a state where they are ferocious snakes, biting into each other and shedding skin and blood in copious and equal quantities? Granted, the skin could be used to make attractive if rather illegal wallets, but I have to wonder here how useful a snake would be in a large service industry. They can’t write code, they can’t talk to IDM (though I have a feeling that hissing things in that quarter may be a better way to get things done), and they can’t punch an elevator button or fill up ultimatix timesheets. The only things they would be useful at is intimidating people or biting them, so the only useful openings for them would be either in security or as customer liaisons methinks.

Or is it “Congrats to Amit for motivating the team: death to ferocious snakes”? Which catchy though it is makes about as little sense as, ermmmm…, say the software industry?

Or is it “Congrats to Amit for motivating the team dead, to ferocious snakes.”? This is fairly puzzling and brings forth a huge multitude of questions. Why was Amit motivating the team so much that they all died? Is it possible to motivate them so much that an entire team actually feels it’s better to give up the fight and go quietly to the large service company in the sky? Don’t you feel it’s rather nice that one pl, by the dint of speech alone---I have heard of motivational speeches but this is something else---is able to recreate exactly the same scenario that Hitler was famous for? Do you think Amit is responsible for the insanely high suicide rates in and around Delhi? Where is our ethics council when somebody is motivating a team dead? And the most intriguing of them all: Why is Banjar (drunk though he normally is), drinking a large and very merry toast to of all things, rather ferocious snakes.

These are things that I’d like to ponder over my evening drink, for they promise to lead onto a quite interesting argument for a case which examined closely will I am sure, reveal, if not truth, at least the reason why these people should be educated about the nuances of the English Language. And if that doesn’t work I’ll just raise a toast and say: "Dead to ferocious snakes."

P.S: I invite other people to now politely tear up my article for alleged illegal grammar, split infinitives and other pedantic mumbo jumbo.

P.P.S: To all those who find this article lacking in basic decency or truth and to all others who lack a sense of humour, I say bugger off.

P.P.S: Or more so "Dead to snakes".

P.P.P.S: Hey!!! This dead to snakes is quite a cute expression. I am adopting it as my motto.

P.P.P.P.S: Clarification. I was going to adopt the statement and not the snake as my motto.

And the very final word, ermm..., words:

"Dead to snakes"