Monday, March 06, 2006

The Great Indian Democratic Poll


Since we are celebrating some random event to commemorate Abraham Lincoln loosing his undergarments in the White House when he got the “loosies” after consuming Maggi at the fast food joint right across the White House, or the joy that is spreading across the hostel since people would like to live together with “transparent” roomies for the next year and hate their guts (their own not their roomies though we are not discounting the possibility) comprehensively, at the end of it we bring forth the MDI Democracy at Large Poll:

Q1. My favorite democratically elected leader:

- Richard Nixon (who falls into the Pinocchio category)

- Atal Bihari Vajpayee ( who also falls into the my favorite poet category)

- Lallu Prasad Yadav ( who falls into the man who best loves buffalo category)

- Jayalalitha (who falls into the buffalo which loves mankind category)

Q2. I most like to vote because:

- The voter ID card tells me who I am ( blinded by illicit liquor category)

- I like licking the ink off my finger ( midday meal category)

- I love stuffing the ballot ( government employment category)

- The burly guy in the locality told me to ( non-refundable hospital bill category)

Q3. The thing I like most about democracy is:

- It’s derived from latin ( so I get to speak Latin for a day category)

- I can bring my wife into politics (falls into the man who best loves buffalo category)

- I can make a buffalo the CM ( the whole of Tamil Nadu category)

- I get to participate in MMS scandals ( from the bribe taking in the nude category)

Q4. What I think democracy is:

- Letting apes broadcast animal porn ( Radio K.A.O.S and owner category)

- Wanking off on the net to my own video (oops! I left the webcam on while taking bribe in the nude category)

- Decision making under flying footwear (Lok Sabha category)

- Decision making when fossilized (Rajya Sabha category)

- No decision making at all (Democracy category)

Q5. What I think democracy should be:

- A large McDonald’s burger ( food for work category)

- Red flags flying on Jyoti Basu’s forehead ( I have had too much crack category)

- Lallu for president ( president of the bufallo’s union (Moo!Moo!Maa!) category)

- Fair and unbiased ( I am definitely delusional and should be institutionalized category)

Q6. How should we elect our ‘democratic’ “leaders””

- Ask me (Fidel castro category)

- Call an openhouse with the entire population of India (all student council category)

- Spam about it till every single cockroach left on this earth accepts your decision (student body category)

- Secretly whisper into your neighbours ears that you have biological weapons and politely invite Bush to invade your country ( Saddam Hussein category)

- Keep harping on the Baghvad Gita and the land of Kurukshetra till everyone decides to curl up and die (‘Darmashetre Kurukshetre’ category)

- I am not worried about this because I am an HR manager with an IT background, worrying about what kind of job profile I will get ( I need to have my guts slitted category)

Please submit all your entries ( if submitted from an anonymous mail id we'll know it is from a-rather-concerned-mandevian category) , after which they will go through a conjoint analysis and will produce random mutant goats with factors instead of horns and certain boring MR professors instead of gonads. In the meantime watch animal pr0n on Radio K.A.O.S