Saturday, August 18, 2007

Civalization-Grihasti Chapter II

I have finally become civilized today. After two weeks of living in a paleolithic fashion today I bought my first civilized tool. Surprisingly enough it was a spoon.And I have been in raptures ever since. For all those who are not following this blog (and boy are they a large number), I am living in a flat with a guy called Divak and for the last month we had survived without a spoon. Hell! We survived even without soap. Primitive it was. Plates were a luxury. We have been eating from a place called Chik-Chiken (sic). Cheap bastards that they are meals come in little plastic tubs without a plate. Or a spoon. Divak and I enjoyed these "finger foods". Roti was finger food. So was biryani. Considering that the food looked like melted lego blocks (and tasted like it too) our fingers were the only natural thing about our diet. The one day we managed to bring back curd we scooped it up with our fingers. Considering where our fingers have been (I'm staunchly Indian in matters potty though not vice versa) I could only hope Divak washed his hands. Sugar when we wished to mix it with our coffee was done with the aid of our fingers. Nevermore...

Today I have a spoon. There are a lot of advantages to spoons:

1. You can use them to get jar from the bottom of the bottle when your fingers just don't reach that far. This is going to prove very useful on those days Chik-Chiken remains closed.
2. You can stir sugar into coffee without inflicting painful and lasting damage to your digits.
3. You can use them to spread cheese on a piece of bread without slicing off your fingers. I nearly did this last week.
4. It's close to impossible to lick a knife clean of said cheese. Forked tongues though useful for conversations with snakes makes kissing impossible. Spoons score heavily here.
5. It's possible to drink cough syrup without glugging it down. You can of course indulge in the traditional cough syrup tasting and then wax eloquent about the "spirit of Korex" and the "body of Woodward's Gripe Water".

Aah... such fun.

Stirring news. Next week I plan to get a plate. Watch this space.